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Contentment with Lonliness |
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| When you're gone,
all the colours fade.
When you're gone,
no new years day parade.
You're gone,
colours seem to fade.
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| i don't know that I'm better now. It still feels like all those feelings are still inside of me, just not as bad as before. I guess i should be thankful for that. I basically feel lost. And I'm not real sure how to make things better. I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright-- And this is how it ends.- Linkin Park
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| I got this from annie's myspace blog. Sometimes you dont realize how much you care for someone, until they stop caring for you how true. |
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| So, lately, i've been thinking about some stuff. And I still am not sure where my life is going, but I want to hope for the best instead of not caring. If all you focus on is all the bad thats in the world, then obviously you don't look forward to the future. But you have to think of the good in the world. I guess most girls at some point think about when their older and having kids and the whole family thing. So of course I did too. But after a while, I just kept seeing all this bad stuff in the world and thought "why would someone want to bring an innocent child into this world?" and my mom would then make a point of saying, "well, maybe that child would make the world a better place". So lately I've just been thinking that, even though its not easy, i should try to live for the best. No one wants to live for all the bad stuff in life. So what I need to do is go find the good out there. Find the things that make me happy. Its gonna be hard to think this way all the time, but with God's help I can try to do better. And speaking of god, i really need to start going to church on a regular basis. I need to strengthen my relationship with god. I have a fairly good relationship with him now, but its not what it needs to be. I can't expect him to help me through all this with nothing happing on my part. I need to show my appreciation for all the things that he has given me. I am very fortunate to live the life that i do. Things could always be much much worse. Lol, sorry this is such a random and long entry, but i needed to let it all out. In the midst of darkness Lord, my spirit calls for you - 12 Stones |
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